Archive | October, 2012

An impersonator, gift wrapped & sent from heaven!

24 Oct

-A tale of a God sent impersonator-

As ever, it was I who decided that we must be bunking* our Financial Accountancy class that day and Salma, as ever wasn’t very happy about my decision. Sitting in the class feigning interest in the subject that was being taught, was the last thing that I wanted to be doing that day. For some reason (I hope to investigate that reason soon), numbers have always scared me. They managed to give me nightmares that nothing else could ever give. I used to get recurring dreams of a math monster chasing me for several kilometers before finally getting me. I quickly manage to always wake up from the dream as soon as the monster grabbed me, cos it’s far too scary for me to continue to see the dream, in order to learn what happened to me next! I censor my dreams, when they get too gory, oh yes I do. Anyways, let’s keep math out of my blog. That’s one thing that would never get the privilege to feature in my blog! No, not now, not ever! For the nth time – I hate you, maths!

Salma, however, though not a great lover of anything that involves numbers either, wanted to attend that FA class, ‘cos she was beginning to suspect that we have a drought in our attendance record, esp. in that subject. Continuing to bunk those classes would prove suicidal, she knew. But I was never the one to give up, nor worry over petty issues like attendance and its shortage. Another reason why hated attending this particular class was because, by attending it, I’d horrifyingly realize how little i knew of the subject and realization would quickly dawn on me (usually within the first 5 minutes of commencement of the class) that chances of passing in this subject was very bleak-  as bleak as trying to find a hay colored needle well camouflaged in a haystack! That would be too much of a disappointment to be facing every day. I’d be better off without that. Moreover, when in my life time, would i ever need to practically be doing some financial accounting? Never!  I had already made up my mind about this one. Anything but Accounts for me!

Therefore, why insult the poor lecturer and his subject by not paying enough attention in his class, was how i defended my case. I had better things to do, better plans hatched rather than attend some class, where i’d only be physically present but my mind would have taken off. My plans usually were like this- browse and purchase some really interesting books, spend some ‘quality’ time at a cafe coffee joint with our seniors, do a bit of window shopping (‘cos mostly we’d be broke from injudicious spending of our pocket money & to get an idea for what I must be nagging my parents to get me for my upcoming birthday), stage or participate in protests against animal cruelty, launch a surprise visit & rescue exotic birds & animals from from an infamous pet market which was around 6kms from college, visit our local animal  shelter & donate our old clothes, which would help keep the pups warm during winter; run amok on a street in Gandhibazar, famous for eateries, not able to make up our minds on what we should begin feasting on first; sneak out to my roof terrace & perch ourselves atop the water tank, from where we used to get a grand view of our ‘then very green’ city and discuss some serious philosophy (I’m saying this with a straight face, promise) and trust me, my mom would not even have a clue that her daughter was right there on the terrace; visit the famous Jain temple near my place and enjoy its sheer beauty & tranquility in total silence, etc. Ah well, there is no end to that (maybe I’ll consider writing a new post exclusively on my creative ideas to spend time whilst on a college bunk! 😉 ). Anyways, it was our conscious effort to not make boyfriends, though many proposals came our way. We were in no hurry nor desperate for a boyfriend. There is always a time & a phase of our lives meant for that, we believed.  We had enough very dear friends who were ‘boys’ though.

Salma, no matter how much she’d hate me for saying this, never ever managed to win many arguments with me. That day was no special day for her either, ‘cos we bunked and bunked not just the FA class but the entire second half of our college session, thanks to me. We saw a movie that we knew was a disaster at the box office, but that was okay. It was better than our FA class and its torture, i figured. We both could have actually made for good movie critics, ‘cos each time we watched a movie that we had already seen before, our comments on the actors, their costumes, movie plot, direction and other things movie related, only got better and better and more professional. My parents would have taken me straight to psychiatrist had I expressed my desire to become a ‘movie critic’. That line of career wasn’t even recognized back then, let alone being accepted. That was one reason I decided to keep mum about my various career options and plans. I did not want my parents to either faint or rush me to a doctor specialized in psychiatry.

Our college lives went on this way. I guess it would be wrong to say ‘college lives’, cos we rarely were in it. Soon our first year in college, or rather out of it, came to an end. Our classmates, mostly nerds were busy preparing for the exams, which according to me was still a long way to go. Two ‘long’ months away! My father ensured i joined a college like that (with many nerds in it), hoping against the dimmest hope, that in the company of those nerds, his notoriously mischievous daughter would be forced to become one too. This unfortunately was never was the case. Instead a few nerds, threw away their nerdy glasses and begged to join our ‘fun’ gang. According to me, only the seriously psychos would commence studies that early. According to my other classmates, however, with barely two countable months to go, i was the seriously psycho, to have not even purchased the prescribed text books needed to study and subsequently pass in the exams that followed. Well, people always look crazier on the other side! (don’t ask me, ‘of what?’, it’s definitely not fence, ‘cos thank god my college compound had no fence, else it would have my task of escaping from there more difficult, though not impossible!). God has always been kind to me, for somehow, i always manage to pass the examinations & get some decently good results.  That year was no different either. Thank you God! Continue to bless me this way & I’ll continue to make you proud! 🙂

It was that time of the year again- ‘pay the exam fees, collect the hall ticket and suffer a panic attack at the end of it’, with me being an exception to the last one of course. Both Salma and I collected money from our parents to pay towards our exam fees. With a faked expression of a ‘serious nerd’ on my face (i told you that we watched a lot of movies), I collected money from my dad, who seemed to love that expression on my face, but only after adding a few hundreds extra to the prescribed exam fees in order to facilitate our fun escapades outside college. Poor dad would soon be disappointed, when once the results are declared, i thought. But then that would be long enough time for him to recollect the expression i wore on my face while i was ‘extracting’ money from him, so no problem.

We then went to college to pay our fees, when the office staff flatly refused to give us the examination forms, saying we were both pathetically low on our attendance and that we had to meet the principal along with our respective parents and take a written permission from him, before being allowed to sit for our exams. It did not come much as a surprise to me, for i had always expected it. But this was too much for Salma who hailed from a very conservative family. For that matter, i am from a super conservative family myself too, but my poor family forgot all about how to continue to be conservative, soon after my birth into its family tree. My sympathies to my parents (and i really mean it). Salma knew and feared that should her parents learn about her college escapades, she would be made to discontinue college and a hunt for a suitable groom for her would commence with immediate effect. These thoughts made tears well up in her eyes. Now, this was too much for me too, as this meant losing a friend and that too, too soon, barely after one year into college. I had to do something about it. This issue wasn’t much of a problem for me, as my parents had by now become immune to the various shocks that i was capable of giving them, only the voltages differed each time- sometimes less, sometimes fatally powerful. I knew my mother would surely bail me out of this situation, although it’s a different issue that she’d try her best to thoroughly make me regret for it, but that’s a small price you sometimes pay for fun, fun that comes once in a lifetime and and too only when you are young. So, that was completely fine by me.

Though not as dumb as the now extinct dodo, my principal wasn’t that much of a fool either, to not recognize my mother if she were to meet him again as Salma’s mother. So pleading for my mom’s help in this situation was ruled out. Who else could then rescue my friend, her education and her right to be single for a few more years… and most importantly, save our friendship from a potential ‘unnatural’ marriage to Salma!? Damn! I shouldn’t have made Salma bunk so much!

We walked out of the campus pondering of ways to save the day. I made a quick call to my mom and asked her to come to my college, to do what she had been doing for several years now (from the time i was enrolled to school, to be precise)- meeting my principals and hearing to their complaints about me. She was furious as ever, but she had no choice but to come and meet my principal. It would take her half hour’s time to reach our college. I, at least, was assured of my hall ticket. But what about Salma? We were deeply lost in thoughts and ideas to save Salma, when suddenly to my own surprise and to Salma’s of course, i found myself halting a middle aged woman walking on the footpath, who looked old enough to have a daughter our age. This was my act of extreme desperation. I stopped the lady right on her tracks and requested with her (which sounded like a little more than request and a little less to begging) to come meet our genius of a principal, as Salma’s mother. The poor woman was totally taken aback, i could easily say that from her expression. Before she could think about what was happening and then react negatively, i got out all my acting skills that i had acquired from watching movies, many movies and sometimes the same movies again and again, to convince her and stop her thinking process dead. I told her with a very sad face, how the fate of my innocent, hapless friend’s education was entirely depended on her and that if she refused to help us out from this situation, my poor friend would be forced to quit college, marry, maybe someone twice her age and be packed off to some ‘god knows where’ land. If only she co-operated and agreed to meet our principal as Salma’s mother, all these prospective tragedies could be easily avoided, I told her. The lady’s expression changed from being taken aback to a more sympathetic one. Just try a little harder and you’ll win her over, my mind seemed to tell me in the chaotic background. The woman surely must have been so taken aback that i felt, her reasoning had deserted her, otherwise who would agree to something as insane as this. I just wanted to try my luck and it clicked! She acknowledged! WOW! Why isn’t everybody like her, so nice and agreeing?

Soon afterwards, we bolted back to the college and met our principal, who made us face the music, a very unpleasant one, i must add (my mom had joined us by now). He then looked victoriously at Salma and me, believing he had screwed our happiness for good. It would now be our parents turn to blast us & make us miserable once we got home, he thought with sadistic pleasure. This too i could tell from his expression.  Our new impersonator hung her head in shame as if she had borne Salma herself. Who would have thought that one day I’d make a complete stranger act? ‘Salma’s mother’ apologized to the principal & so did my mom (i guess it was easier for my mom, ‘cos she by now, had a list of apology templates ready on her tongue tip, acquired since many years of experience in using them; she now would just need to pick the one that best suited the occasion).

Our princi charged us a fine amount for each subject that we had shortage of attendance in (i see that as a small price for the big fun), issued the permission letter and let us off the hook. I profusely thanked the woman who saved us that day and then stopped continuing to thank her, as i felt thanking her too much would make her conscious & want to introspect the whole issue and when she does, she’d realize what silly thing she had gotten herself into. I did not give her that chance. She was very happy and carried herself like a social worker, with her smile suddenly turning very noble like, from a good deed done, deed of saving innocent students from a tyrannical principal.

God bless that lady. If today Salma and I are still friends, it’s only because of that god sent stranger or maybe it was god himself in disguise, i can never say for sure. Sometimes, God’s miracles work in the strangest ways and when you least expect them!

Once again, thank you dear stranger turned impersonator, I haven’t forgotten what you saved us from!

Saved by a stranger sent from heaven!

Disclaimer: This is a not a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely intentional. The names, however, have been changed to protect identity!  🙂

*‘Bunk’ (verb), basically means to skip a class or the whole day of college or school when you’re actually supposed to be there. It’s a regional slang.

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Who’s laughing at Romeo & Juliet?

18 Oct

Of late I’ve come to notice a rather disturbing trend here. My cousin brother broke up with his 3rd girlfriend in a matter of just 2 months and how does he do that? By updating his relationship status on his Facebook profile, it’s just as simple as that! That really astounded me big time. Loyalty, chivalry, fidelity, passion, – all now seemed like virtues of people from a lost world, say like Atlantis for something. Where has all the world’s passion gone? Where have these virtues disappeared to?

The dawn of the digital age, is perhaps to be blamed for this. Back then, the very term ‘love’ used to make our hearts flutter, there was something magical about that very term. And hey, just because I said ‘back then’, please don’t date me back to the Jurassic era or something. I’m talking about only a few years ago, say around 4-5 years ago or so, when technology hadn’t yet taken over mankind the way it has now, by storm. Today every second person you stumble upon, comes with a smart phone that is ever connected to the internet & the social networking sites. With this being the case, our youngsters today are so prone to getting into relationships, even before understanding that term correctly. Relationships are happening very fast and are dying an even faster death. Youngsters today cannot tell the difference between lust & love, and often mistake one for another. Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Whatsapp, etc are now connecting people like never before. Nobody from the past, is lost forever anymore. I recently stumbled upon my classmate from kindergarten on Facebook, how incredible is that!

Anyways, there used to be a time when relationships had to be carefully nurtured, in order for it to grow & thrive. The ones in love would long for just a glimpse of their loved ones. They’d wait endlessly to meet their loved ones, say, outside their college, at the bus station, by the roadside to get glimpse of their loved one who would peek out of her window stealthily. Their next meet would seem like years before it finally happened.  A love letter that ran into several pages or a photograph of a loved one, was treasured forever & stolen kisses were indeed the sweetest.

Today, a video chat is all it takes to establish a connection. Pings and instant messages that rarely communicate feelings, have today replaced letters of love. These pings & SMSs are all gone & are deleted before the next sunrise in order to make for some memory on the phone. Nothing lasts forever these days, not even love, for it comes with a very short validity time. With this being the case, where is the question of passion filled love letters or stolen kisses, when one night stands have become the order of the day?  Almost every college kid that I’ve come across today would have changed at least 3 partners before even completing just 2 years of college. You are looked at like an alien or some lunatic if you have stuck on to the same partner for more than 2 years. They term you a ‘Loser’,  a fancy word that a lot of youngsters like using these days. For them, even partners should be changed in accordance to the latest fashion & trends. If it is currently ‘in’ to have a ‘coy’ boyfriend or a girlfriend, then that’s what they have, but, when the trends change and if it is considered ‘cool’ to have a ‘wild’ partner, then that’s what they set out to hunt and get themselves for. They are now changing their partners as often as they would probably change their profile pictures on social networking sites. Guys and girls today want everything that is fashionable and that includes a trophy partner cum arm candy too. No wonder then, that Guys don’t passionately chase girls anymore ( I mean, in the good sense & in a romantic way), they are not even trying hard to woo the girls, ‘cos there are so many of them on a platter to choose from, waiting desperately to make them their boyfriends. Sensing this new trend, even these sites offer a wide number of relationship statuses to choose from like- it’s complicated, in an open relationship, separated, confused, in a love triangle, quadrangle, etc.

While some get into relationships just because its a ‘cool’ thing to do, some do it ‘cos they are desperate to prove a point to their friends and peers, some others do it just because they’ve got nothing better to do, it’s like – ‘i’m so bored! so why not get myself a boyfriend or a girlfriend’ types. And even before they realise, they are both headed to splits villa, in the shortest possible route that would take them there!

Weird parties that we had never heard of before, have now come into existence like ‘the break up party’, ‘the single again bash’, and ‘celebrate divorce’ parties etc., to celebrate a split from your partner or spouse!!! Good God, where are we heading, abandoning our ethics & morals? I’m not exaggerating when I say that these days, I haven’t seen a single, young relationship that has lived to celebrate its 2ndyear anniversary. People tell me that they split with their boyfriend or girlfriends, as casually as how they’d tell if they missed their bus, a bus that is available every 10 minutes.  This is something that I can never understand. Passion is nonexistent in relationships these days.

Shakespeare would have become a butt of these youngsters’ jokes & ridicules had he written his classic -‘Romeo & Juliet’ now & had he been around today. Thank God, he left the planet long before the rise of the digital hysteria. As if short term relationships are not enough, our youngsters these days want to try their hand at multi-tasking. And how do they do that? By two timing or sometimes three & even four timing their partners! Smart, aren’t they? At this rate I’m seriously beginning to suspect if the genes of our future generations would get altered forever. Altered to be unable to recognize or understand love, fidelity, loyalty & their meanings;  lines like ‘love you forever’ which they’d perhaps come across in some very old books. ‘Love’ and ‘forever’ according to them, just don’t go well together.

’til death do us part’

There used to be vows like- ‘till death do us part’. Today the same needs to edited to read or say ‘till a Tweet or an updated Facebook status do us part’! It is but a sad reality today. I wouldn’t be surprised if in future, people would look in awe, amazement and total surprise with their jaws dropped down to the ground, at the exhibit photographs of couples who lived together forever (till their deaths), like how we today look at the fossilized remains of a tyrannosaurus, mammoth or some other long perished species.

Meanwhile, I see- love, passion & romance; on their last legs, bidding us a sad adieu standing at the edge of our earth’s surface. But I am not reciprocating to them. No, not yet, for I don’t want to let them go. But at the same time I hope our youngsters don’t knock them all off the edge!

Long live the three! And please be around for as long the earth is…

Swan song: In the land of stars

2 Oct
You were my knight in shining armor, my heart fluttered
and several times did i go weak in my knees at your very sight,
‘always felt you were too good for me & haplessly felt conscious at your side,
The greek God sure must have looked like you…
Ecstasy went ecstatic, the day you proposed to me.
Like a happy fairy tale, my life appeared to me,
‘cos this seemed too good to be true, this seemed too right to go wrong
wondered i, if our fates were penned by frolicking, happy angels
you were my pride, you were my joy,
& you were the reason for many a green eyed monsters
you my friend, soon became my everything,
with our stars & its roots being same,
our dreams & their fulfillment didn’t seem distant,
no, not at all
so addicted were we to each other,
so intoxicating was our love to each other,
and so close were we, towards our bliss of many lives,
like a mirage on a scorched desert, was the bliss that we longed for
we laughed till it hurt, cried till it hurt and yes, we loved till it hurt too
and then i saw, your love change from passion to obsession,
from affection to suspicion, from roses to thorns
you were fast losing your mind, i could see and you dint want to wait
i tried to help, but you sought no aid
you had gone immune, you had turned so cold…
that’s when i knew, the evil had crept in & crept without a sound
the devils had taken over from where the joyous angels left,
with the ink of pain, loneliness & betrayal; they continued to pen our fates
with ink so thick & ink so un-erasable, they wrote our fates so irreversible

their spell so evil, that your love seemed lust like
& your passion- a mindless obsession

my heart- once swollen with your love, now stung my very survival,
it hurt & it hurt bad, as little by little, love dripped away from a hole through it,
hole so deep, hole so abysmal, i knew it would never heal
bitter anger slowly replaced lost love…
none had survived it, none shall survive it, i knew
for what chance did we mortals stand in the face of a conspiracy,
conspiracy so fool proof, that was warmed & hatched in the very hands of the sly fate itself?
but fret not my beloved, cos together we shall defeat the wicked & the demonic,
they did win the battle in the mortal separation, but,
the immortal union- is a war to be won,
for in the land of stars, we shall meet again…
not angels, not demons, but we shall write our own destinies with the thick blood of our love this time
in the dream like place where me first met, shall be from where we start again,
by the promises made by our tormented hearts & words that are dissolved in our very souls,
with the mighty gods in their heavens as our witnesses, we shall meet again
no mortal agonies shall now pain our slumbering hearts, ‘cos when they wake, they shall wake in bliss, for we shall meet again,
in the land of stars, in the land of love eternal- ruled by none other but love itself…
– Bella Swan Jacob
—————————————————————————————————————————————————-
(This one’s dedicated to all those who have loved & lost. With it’s inspiration from the ‘Twilight’ series by Stephenie Meyer, this rune is a total work of fiction, where due to circumstances beyond her control Bella Swan marries Jacob Black, only to realize later that both Edward Cullen and herself are still very much in love with each other. A rune dedicated to all the Bellas’ who lost their Edwards’ & vice versa to fate; and especially to those who were defeated by circumstances & fate, but were hopelessly conquered by love)

In the land of stars, we shall meet again…

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